• Jay EuDaly

India

Updated: Jun 11, 2019

It has occurred to me that the record of the 2019 trip to India to receive my adopted grandson Dax is preserved mostly on FaceBook. Do I trust FaceBook? No. Everything on the internet can be deleted. FaceBook seems permanent now but in a few years (or months!) it could be an anachronism. When FaceBook goes down where will all the pictures, posts, and memories be? Gone forever.


So I copied all the posts and pictures from my FaceBook page to this blog. I copied only the comments that served some educational, humorous or narrative purpose; therefore most of the comments are not preserved. Posting the names of those who commented without their permission didn't feel right, even though FaceBook is a public forum. Therefore I did not identify the author of any comment other than myself, or immediate family members. Also, there are a couple of pictures that were not on my FaceBook feed but are from my personal texts.


April 16, 2019

Goodbye, Kansas City. Hello, Toronto. #masterguitar #masterguitarschool

Kansas City

Toronto

April 17, 2019

Goodbye, Toronto. Hello, Frankfurt. #masterguitar #masterguitarschool

Toronto

Frankfurt

April 18, 2019

Jay EuDaly is in Bangalore, India.

Good morning, Bangalore. That was an interesting ride last night. #masterguitar #masterguitarschool #indiaisatrip

Bangalore

April 18, 2019

Alex DeGrassi’s “Slow Circle” is playing in the hotel restaurant in Bangalore. I love music! #indiaisatrip

Hotel Restaurant in Bangalore

April 18, 2019

#indiaisatrip

Hotel room bathroom in Bangalore

Comments:

  • Seems worse than a Korean hooker

  • I love India through the eyes of Jay


April 18, 2019

This is in our room:


April 18, 2019

This is why I’m in India! This is my youngest son Nathan and his wife Allie. They are now officially the parents of Dax Shreyas EuDaly, who is now my 11th grandchild. #indiaisatrip

April 18, 2019

Receiving Dax from the orphanage. #indiaisatrip

April 19, 2019

Jay EuDaly is in Devanhalli.

Gee I hope this is the right line. #indiaisatrip

Comments:

  • Looks like the Brooklyn DMV.

April 19, 2019

Had to turn down a gig for tomorrow night in Davenport Iowa because I can’t get there in time. #indiaisatrip

Comments:

  • Too bad, Jay. Iowans need your music!

  • I'll cover. Do you think they will like Bad, Bad Leroy Brown?

  • Have been to Davenport many times. It is their loss for sure.

April 19, 2019

Jay EuDaly is with Allie EuDaly and Nathan Elliot EuDaly at Kempegowda International Airport Lounge, Bengaluru.

Leaving Bangalore for Delhi shortly. #indiaisatrip

April 19, 2019

Goodbye, Bangalore. Hello, Delhi! I said, Hello, Delhi! #indiaisatrip

Bangalore

Delhi

April 19, 2019

Jay EuDaly is in Delhi, India.

Dax’s 1st plane ride. He did pretty good! #indiaisatrip


April 19, 2019

This brings Andrea to mind - though she is never far. This was at the airport in Delhi. #indiaisatrip


April 19, 2019

This was a dance for us at the orphanage. As you can see, it's a walled compound and is pretty nice compared to its surroundings. The guy by the car is one of our drivers. There will be another post about that later. The badassery of the drivers is amazing to behold. In the meantime, this thing of beauty: #indiaisatrip


April 19, 2019

Jay EuDaly shared a post.

From Dax’s mama:


Allie EuDaly is with Nathan Elliot EuDaly.April 19


Our hearts are bursting 🖤 And sweet baby boy is doing so well 🖤

He loves the bath, eats and sleeps like a champ, and is curious about e v e r y t h i n g.

The things that are really hard so far are that he is legitimately claustrophobic (hates elevators, public bathrooms, and wasn’t a fan of the plane [from Bangalore to Delhi] for awhile)...and he is starting to grieve the loss of the caretakers and home he has known for the last 14 months 🖤(obviously being removed from everything familiar and coming with new people to new places and everything else involved is traumatic - and my heart is so indescribably heavy for him). Thankfully, he feels safe enough with us that he allows us to comfort him when he is upset. Also, almost all of our time is able to be spent engaging in play and other attachment-building activities, so we are filling up our trust bank as fast as we can. 🖤

He is crazy smart, very vocal (he has been spoken to in three languages his whole life but they said so far he prefers to make up his own words 😂), and can take about 2-3 steps by himself! (and is so proud of himself every time). 🖤

We are so in love. 🖤 Thank you for all the kind words and prayers, friends 🖤 We should be home by May 1st 🖤 #lovingeudaly #babydax


Comments:

  • Love. And the tip of an iceberg of a life rescued. A tremendous testament and it so, so, so matters. Be blessed. Dax welcome to America and your new life.

  • Jay EuDaly Dax was premature and abandoned. He has some medical issues but my daughter-in-law is a pediatric intensive care nurse at Children’s Mercy and so is equipped as anyone could be to deal with it.

  • My dearest friend fostered a baby boy that had been abandoned. He was just weeks old when they brought him into their home. They fell in love with him and couldn’t bear to let him have someone else “leave” him. They adopted him. That was 7 years ago, and he’s thriving! So hearing about your new grandbaby makes my heart so very happy ❤️


April 19, 2019

Jay EuDaly is in Delhi, India.

Good morning, Delhi! I slept from midnight to 6:00. I think I’m starting to get over the jet lag. We’re going to be here a while, jumping through the last few hoops to be able to bring Dax home. So I’m hoping to settle in and get reasonably comfortable. I’ve had some trouble with Instagram and also with texting. Facebook seems to be the most reliable so this is where I’m going to be from now on. #indiaisatrip

Delhi

Comments:

  • How is the air? Doesn't look too good in this picture.

  • Jay EuDaly It alternates between “unhealthy” and “dangerous.”


April 19, 2019

I perceive a market for Jazz here. I’m eating breakfast in Delhi and so far on the Muzak I’ve heard real jazz; Kenny Burrell, Groove Holmes, Jimmy Smith...what a wonderful thing to be so far from home and hear Hammond Organ-based Jazz. #indiaisatrip


Comments:

  • I hope you have a chance to hear some of the locals while you are there. Some amazing music. I got to see Ravi Shankar in Bangalore in 2011. Good luck with the jet lag coming back!

  • Jay EuDaly I’m planning on trying to find local music while I’m here.

  • I’m assuming that of course you took your guitar along. Can’t imagine you without it for longer than a couple hours.

  • Jay EuDaly no, it’s too much of a hassle to fly with it if I don’t have a gig. We have enough to worry about. I’ve got several days to get back in shape before my fist gig back in KC.


April 19, 2019

Ok, I think this is probably for the sake of us westerners but I’ll check it out anyway. Maybe I can connect with one of these musicians and find out where the REAL music is. #indiaisatrip



April 19, 2019

This was our contact with the orphanage, Alex. Alex was responsible for procuring our drivers. The next few pics are typical street scenes on the way to the orphanage. So on our way from the airport to the hotel I learned something. I HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT ANYTHING! My reaction was probably intensified by the fact that we had been travelling for more than 24 hours on no sleep. Anyway, we're in the car with Alex and the driver. It's 4:00 in the morning and we're driving through what I would characterize as horrible slums but which is totally normal here. Piles of rubble, trash, tents, little street front shops, people and motorbikes everywhere. As we pass by a large gathering of men on a corner the driver pulls the car over and says something to Alex. "Crap!" I think, "Is this where the shakedown happens? What's happening?" I could feel my fight-or-flight response starting to kick in and I realized it would have to be fight because I didn't know where to run. The group of men were watching us but didn't approach. I watched Alex and the driver talk back and forth in whatever dialect and Alex did something on his phone, the driver nodded and pulled back out onto the road. I figured either the driver wanted more money or the money had run out and he needed more to continue. The thing is, I had TOTALLY misinterpreted the whole incident. I found out later he had wanted to stop for tea. The last picture is the guard at our hotel. You have to walk through a metal-detector to go into the lobby. #indiaisatrip











April 20, 2019

Welp, I went out alone this morning looking for places to eat. Where. Is. The. BEEF! There isn’t any! God, I want a taco salad so bad. You have to think about water here. Everyone drinks bottled water. Many people have no plumbing - this is how they get water. Apparently the most fascinating thing about me to the locals is my dingo boots. Everybody stared at them. #indiaisatrip



Comments:

  • Uh, Jay.... People here stare at your boots.

  • lol

  • Yes I believe the Hindi people would not tolerate beef being used

  • I think eating beef would offend 80% of the population. So....when in Rome (or India) They may be offended by your leather cowboy boots!

  • Jay EuDaly That had occurred to me earlier. I think I'll wear my tennis shoes from now on. Maybe they weren't fascinated but offended.

  • Jay EuDaly hey, I’m offensive even in my OWN culture!

  • so true! so true!

  • During our excursion in Dominican I was getting hostile stares, realized it was the US flag on my red tee shirt. Stares stopped when I turned it inside out. I felt like I betrayed my country but we were there for E... and A...’s wedding. Peaceful.


April 20, 2019

Ok - I gotta talk about the driving.


First impression; chaotic insanity.


But now I think there's something here that we don't have.


First of all, driving is on the left - probably from English colonial days. But driving on the left is more like "guidelines" rather than hard and fast rule. I haven't seen speed limit signs. The speed is controlled by speed bumps everywhere. NO ONE flies over speed bumps, they slow down to almost nothing and slowly ease up over the bump. Our driver to the orphanage unexpectedly pulled into a gas station but didn't park at the gas pump. Alex wasn't with us and the driver didn't speak English. This time I wasn't worried because I remembered my previous, horrible misjudgment. He aired up the tires. “Of course.” I thought, “That would be a constant issue because of all the speed bumps.”


Secondly, the car horn doesn't express anger - it's used to communicate. I haven't seen anger at all so far. No one gets angry about being cut off. There's very little traffic control and people cut other people off all the time - and they announce it by honking. Coming up on a motor scooter you honk. Scooter moves over. Coming around a slow moving truck you honk. Going around a blind corner you honk. I'm starting to discern messages like, "Hello, I'm going to pass you now" or, "Hello, I am going to cut in front of you now" then from the other, "Ok, you can slip in here." There is no such thing as a required safe distance. Cars, scooters, trucks, lots of little 3-wheeled, open air taxi vehicles and pedestrians consistently miss each other by inches – many times there are 3 lanes of vehicles on a two-lane street and any of the lanes could be going in any direction. Or there are no discernible lanes at all. The kind of thing that would cause a road-rage incident in the US – following too closely, cutting in front of somebody, etc – is routine here and nobody gets angry. They just talk to each other very politely with their horns.


I've realized it's right-brain driving; ebb and flow, multi-tasking, pattern recognition. The drivers are one with their vehicle and with the other drivers. I've written extensively on my blog about the importance of right-brain dominance when it comes to playing music; same thing applied here to driving. I find it fascinating, I think it's badass but to our drivers here it's perfectly normal.


Driving from here to there has been my favorite part of the trip so far. Our driver in Delhi told us,


“To drive in India you need 5 good things; good eyes, good horn, good brakes, good patience and good luck. Luck is the most important thing!”


I want this experience to change the way I look at driving when I get home. Not sure exactly how, but we'll see. I hope it will cause me to be less impatient and less irritated with other drivers. #indiaisatrip

Comments:

  • I feel like this is how D... drives but with no beeping. He’s very right brained, connected and flowing, he never ever gets impatient or angry. He often comments when flow is disrupted on the streets things like, “everyone is out of rhythm right now.”

  • Gas is about $4..50/gallon there. Odd. Much like the driving in the Dominican. It's nuts. Saw family of 6 on a motorcycle.


April 20, 2019

#indiaisatrip


April 20, 2019

Jay EuDaly shared a post.


Emmi Aldridge is with Allie EuDaly and Nathan Elliot EuDaly.April 20

The beautiful family of three is handling everything with incredible grace ❤️ I'm overwhelmed...

Comments:

  • I am over my head excited about this whole experience for you, your family and the amazing life given to Emmi! Do not eat the eggs, you already know about the water. I would love to hear you playing there.

  • Jay EuDaly Emmi is Allie's younger sister. Emmi took the picture. The gang is my son, Nathan and his wife, Allie. Allie's sister Emmi and Allies mother Carolyn are also with us, and then there's me. The baby is Dax Shreyas EuDaly. We are now in waiting mode for exit permits for Dax. The plan is that we will leave next Sunday and be back home Monday evening. I am scheduled to resume teaching on Wednesday, May 1. I now realize that I will still be severely jet-lagged. Till then, we have a week in Delhi.

  • Jay EuDaly I have already eaten hard-boiled eggs in the hotel restaurant with no problem. Eating is stressful. I miss burger and ice. You can request ice but there's no guarantee it's made with filtered water - so no ice. I have a bunch of nuts and dark chocolate that I brought from home but I'm going to run out. I have a water bottle with a built in filter. I am able to fill it with tap water and drink it with no bad results - so far. The water bottle has been a great thing because I hate bottled water - it tastes like plastic.

  • Jay EuDaly When I do get bottled water I filter it through MY water bottle!

  • That's amusing to me! Filtering bottled water! In Bandar Abbas eating was difficult. When I lived in Okinawa, a bar owner befriended me. I would play acoustic (yes, poorly) in her bar/restaurant ~ village called Henoko, and she would feed me. When it was time for her to cook, she would go outside and pick greens next to the benjo ditches and make dinner. It was perhaps the best I have ever eaten. I have done prime rib at the finest in Frisco and lobster in Boston, but would go back there in a second. Thanks for sharing this wonderful experience with your buddies. You have many. Stay blessed friend.


April 20, 2019

I’m slowly gaining ground with Dax. At first he wouldn’t look at me and when I came close he would reach away from me to his mama. All his caregivers at the orphanage were females. I’m about as far from an Indian female as you can get. But he’s now looking at me without turning away and even took my necklace from my hand. We’ve been playing YouTube videos of me performing and he’s very interested, looking back-and-forth between the video and me. I can’t wait to play a guitar for him! #indiaisatrip




April 21, 2019

Jay EuDaly is in Delhi, India.

Well...this looks interesting. #indiaisatrip #masterguitar#masterguitarschool

Comments:


April 21, 2019 B...to Jay EuDaly Boy, when they said our kids would drive us to the ends of the earth, they weren’t just a kidding.


Comments:

  • Jay EuDaly No shit, Sherlock!

  • Jay EuDaly I read a story in the local Delhi newspaper this morning about a murder that was the result of warring gangs - I thought, "Ok, not surprised; big city (the population of the greater urban area is over 26 million) kind of like home" - then I read that it was between warring gangs of eunuchs! Okay then, not in Kansas anymore!

  • B... well it's good to know there's still a few ol' country boys around.


April 21, 2019 These are scenes from the orphanage in Bangalore on the day Dax was given to Nate and Allie. It was very neat and clean. I wandered around unsupervised a little bit and was impressed. It was a walled compound at the end of a Bangalore street. An oasis of peace and cleanliness in the middle of Bangalore. The last picture is immediately outside the front gate as we were leaving. As streets in Bangalore go, it was pretty nice, and also better than what surrounds it.


All the staff and children were very warm and welcoming. I posted video earlier of a dance one of the children did for us; I loved it. Allie's sister Emmi did an impromptu dance for them in return; I neglected to film it.


It was wonderful and kind of melancholy at the same time; it's the only home Dax has ever known, and these caretakers had to feel conflicted about seeing him go, but at the same time, placing Dax with someone like us is the goal for them.


I myself felt conflicted. It was like we rich Americans show up in our little two-car convoy and spend 45 minutes or an hour with the folks and then take Dax away from them never to be seen again. That dimension of it is tough to ponder on.


But...it is what it is. And we are who we are. I just wish there was a little more of them in us. #indiaisatrip

After the "Giving Ceremony."

One of our badass drivers. Also gives a sense of the compound from the front building.

The front entrance.









Gates open; Preparing to leave.

Comments:

  • I can empathize with them the emptiness they felt after Dax left. It's true love when you can put someone else's happiness above yours. You can pay them back by loving Dax as much as they did.♥️

  • Jay EuDaly Andrea and I have started a tradition of taking each grandchild on a special trip for their 13th birthday. We will probably do Dax’s early yet old enough to know. She wants to bring him back to India to this orphanage in Bangalore. I laid the groundwork for it even as we were taking him away. I told the director about our plan and asked him if that was ok. He grinned real big and said we would always be welcome there.

  • Allie EuDaly Just so no one thinks that Nate and I are neglectful of this 🤪, when we came to India to visit Dax back in November, we were able to spend many hours with Dax and his caretakers and we told them (and the director) that we plan to bring Dax back to India when he is school-aged and then hopefully more often when he is a teenager and we will come visit with them ❤️ They are all so kind and asked us to send them pictures of him as well. It will be SO special for him to come with Ma and Pa too, but I didn’t want anyone to think Nate and I are out of touch. 😋We know it’s very important for us to keep his culture of origin in his life.

  • I’ll bet you wanted to bring more of the babies back

  • Jay EuDaly you can only do so much.


April 21, 2019

Jay EuDaly shared a post.

This is the 3rd floor rooftop of our hotel in Delhi.

Carolyn Aldridge April 21

Muslim call to worship, 6pm Saturday evening.



April 21, 2019
Jay EuDaly is in Delhi, India.

Say what? #indiaisatrip

Comments:

  • Jay EuDaly Bilingual advertising.

  • A coke. How American of you.

  • Jay EuDaly But what am I saying with it?

  • I am an American imperialist!!!!

  • Jay EuDaly I didn’t know you could read Hindi!

  • I know a few choice phrases too. Mostly for when I get scam calls saying my Microsoft key has expired or I qualify for zero percent interest.

  • Jay EuDaly you also assumed it was my coke - which it is not!

  • Amber EuDaly Eames Jay EuDaly he has to make this clear cause my mom will fly over and kick his ass if it’s his coke. 🤣😂

  • Jay EuDaly Amber EuDaly Eames I have had a couple of cokes - but this is not one of them. Eating has been stressful and challenging. No burger, no ice. No water unless it’s bottled or run through my filtered bottle. Up until yesterday I would try to eat something, not like it, and then eat enough to not be hungry. On top of that my appetite has been screwed up because of messed up sleep patterns (jet lag). Yesterday for the first time I got full! Today we found a western style mall - that would be upscale for here - that has some good stuff. We ate lunch at “Andrea’s Eatery.” I sent mom a picture. I had a “Buff Burger” - buffalo. When I asked the waiter if it was water buffalo or American buffalo I don’t think he understood the distinction. He said it came from Brazil. I haven’t really been posting about the challenges but eating is definitely one of them. So far I have not gotten sick but we’ve all had various degrees of dysfunction when it comes to food. The jet lag has also been pretty horrible.

  • Jay EuDaly Right now I’m sitting in the restaurant in the hotel desperately trying to stay awake as late as I possibly can - it’s 8:05pm here. Last night I went to bed at 8:30 and woke up at 12:30 and never went back to sleep. I slept today from 11:00 to 1:30 or 2:00. It’s been like that every day. All of us have suffered from it. There was a lot of concern about Dax not sleeping and how that might affect Nate and Allie’s sleep. We were offering to set up shifts if we had to but it hasn’t been necessary because Dax has been pretty good about sleeping.

  • Jay EuDaly Also, the air quality here fluctuates between “Unhealthy, Very Unhealthy, and Dangerous.” It has caused us to spend inordinate amounts of time in the hotel. Even then I have episodes of burning eyes and scratchy throat. The discovery of the mall is exciting because it’s a huge space that is air conditioned.

  • Jay EuDaly So excuse me for indulging in the comforting familiarity of a freakin’ coke every once in a while!

  • Amber EuDaly Eames Jay EuDaly lol! That sounds incredibly challenging! I don’t begrudge you at all. I was making a funny..?? But maybe it was completely out of touch to what you all are going through.

  • Jay EuDaly I thought about the whole "Mom finding out I drank coke" thing when I posted it. And it's actually true that it's not mine; Emmi wanted me to take the picture. The Aldridges brought a ton of Oreos - I had a couple of Oreos for the first time in about 30 years a couple of days ago. But now that I've found food I don't need to fall back on that stuff. The next thing is to quit the bread. Everything here is served with 2 or 3 different kinds of bread - I was eating bread because it was the only thing I liked. I told mom it was difficult to eat without eating bread. Now I can discontinue that. So I'm gaining on the food thing.

  • Jay EuDaly And this whole thread IS funny :)

  • Amber EuDaly Eames Jay EuDaly it is definitely amusing! I feel for you though.

  • Amber EuDaly Eames Andrea Hester EuDaly did you read this whole thread?

  • Pretty humorous from my chair.

Different Thread:

April 21, 2019

🖤 Happy Easter 🖤 Dax went swimming for the first time 🖤😍🥰 (So far we mostly like sitting on the side and splashing ☺️) He’s also still eating and sleeping amazingly well 🖤🙏 We are so in love and so thankful. We’re also so thankful for Carolyn Aldridge, Emmi Aldridge, and Jay EuDaly for being here with us 🖤 (and for keeping everyone updated better than us since we don’t have the time 😋)

Thank you all for the love and support 🖤 We are so overwhelmed in many ways, and are so grateful for your kindness and prayers for us and Dax’s sweet heart and mind as he goes through this transition with us. If you would also pray for his body as Delhi’s air quality is very unhealthy, we would be so thankful. So far we have been able to be in air conditioned cars and buildings most of the time, but his heart and lungs are particularly vulnerable to the pollution in the air because of his heart condition (and it’s no good to keep a 14 month old cooped up in a hotel room for a week so we’ve gotta be able to go out at least a little bit).

🖤 Hope everyone at home is having a beautiful weekend 🖤 Happy happy happy resurrection Sunday 🖤

#lovingeudaly





Comments:

  • Thank you Jay for taking us on this amazing and wonderful adventure. It has given me many smiles and hope knowing there are really good and loving people who care about others.

  • Jay EuDaly bad and hateful people who don’t care about others are a minority that cause a lot of noise.


April 21, 2019

Jay EuDaly shared a post.

Carolyn Aldridge is with Allie EuDaly and 2 others. April 21

So much development since his second heart surgery!!!


April 21, 2019

Here we go again. #indiaisatrip


April 21, 2019

Giant Steps is playing in the restaurant this morning. That’s one of the things I like about India. #indiaisatrip


Now I’m hearing Thelonius Monk! #indiaisatrip


April 22, 2019

Planting stuff for Earth Day. Holy crap it’s hot out here!



April 22, 2019